if i make the connecting column's visability false the nested grid becomes a regular grid.
IMHO, the optimal way to make transition Grid with nested grids regular Grid is removal or addition relationships to connected dataset.
PS: but in this case you can use NineRays.Windows.Forms.Grids.NestedHierachyColumn from (NineRays.FlyGrid.Columns assembly) and show/hide this column. This column doesn't connected to some field from datasource and display hierachical structure only. This column can be used to change indentation and make MS Access like table views.